I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
