I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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