I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize