Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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