she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
