and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
