Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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