can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
