Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
