Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
