oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
