I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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