i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
