and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
