It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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