I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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