So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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