My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Randomize
