I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
