roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
