I just saw a hot homeless man
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
