I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
