He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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