He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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