after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this just has baby written all over it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
