dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
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new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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