My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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