no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize