Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
