Fuck appropriateness.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
