There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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