And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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