i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
