i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We are two peas in an std pod
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
