he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
