I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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