I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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