Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She's the barista slut.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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