Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize