I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
