White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
