The maid of honor just puked.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
only you would photoshop your dick
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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