I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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