is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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