yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
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Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
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I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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