Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?