Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere