So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."