that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.