His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize