Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How external is "for external use only"?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
