I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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