HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
