We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize