I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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