I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
