mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
