i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
They have beer where we have blood.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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