Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
